He’s my coworker, whoops..

I may have had sex with my coworker tonight..whoops haha, is that bad? He’s a level above me, and well, I mean, there’s nothing in the work that says you can’t..

I’ve known him for about a month, and he asked to hangout. Now, need mind you, I’m only looking for friends, that’s all I want right now. The last person that I really liked, fucked me over; hence the let few updates. 

So yeah, we went out to eat and then we went back to his place to watch Lord of the Rings, haha. I’ve only seen it like once so I was like why not. During this movie, he made some moves. He put his arm around me and then that lead to us cuddling o.o; which was nice. He tried to hold my hand, I was iffy at first, but let him. He was trying so hard for a kiss but I didn’t budge..till like after 15 minutes. We started to kiss, making out, and then of course that led to sex. ***Everything doesn’t lead to sex***, but I kinda wanted it to happen and he would be a fool if he didn’t want too. 

The sex, really wasn’t bad o.o! We did it twice, and the second time he finished fast but that was fine. It was still good and fun.

Now I’m thinking, a friend with benefits won’t hurt anything. Let’s try this out!

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I hate that I miss you..

I hate that you liked me.

I hate that I liked you back.

I hate how you asked me on a date.

I hate how you kissed my forehead.

I hate how you talked to me all day long, everyday.

I hate how you made me feel.

I hate how we cuddled and watched Netflix. 

I hate myself for feeling like it could have been something special.

Honestly, I enjoyed every minute with you and I don’t hate any of those things..but to make myself feel better, I have to say it. 

What I hate the most, truly hate, is how you kicked me to the curb..for no reason. 

I wish you the best. I said I would start a new chapter in my life, and I will, I want too, I have too. 

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I want it to play out like one of those sad, sappy romance movies. 

Why am I doing this to myself?! It’s hard to forget about someone who once made you so happy.. yet have it shattered within a number of days. 

I keep telling myself I’m over it.. And I really am. But then I get sad, like tonight, and think about it. 

I think of how all of this can easily go away by having him give me some traumatic excuse as of why all of this has happened and then go back to being ATLEAST friends. I’m missing his friendship, and sadly enough, missing him.

I got attached to easily. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was thinking that he cared about me enough as a person to be honest with me. 

Swoop me up from my doorstep and it’ll be okay, really.. 

That’s it for tonight. I’m just not exactly happy right now. 

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One chapter closes and a new one opens.  (Cliché I know) 

And with that moment there, I then realized what my answer was. After it had been a slow and long week and a few days since you did what you did, and after wanting to know why I was being treated that way.. It hit me. The answer was, you didn’t deserve me. 

I’m hurt because I deserve an answer. I deserve better than you. I thought you were better than that. You’re a coward and I hope you realize your loss.

A part of me wishes you would text me now and everything could be fixed and better.. 
Hello new chapter, I can’t say I’m welcoming you with open arms. 

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A little drunk, a little sad..

I thought things were going good, then you up and decide that things should be different. That things should just stay as friends.

On Friday you gave me a Valentine’s gift. On Saturday I hungout with you. And then on Sunday and Monday you ignored me. For the most part. Lastly, on Tuesday you said you werent ignoring me and that you weren’t ready for commitment. 

On Thursday, today, you’ve received some texts from me and still haven’t replied. 

I’m over the situation, but I’m not over being ignored.. 

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My month relationship..

Hey everyone! In my last post I said I was really interested in this guy. So, by reading the title you must infer that I did indeed get into a relationship. And then I ended it right before New Years. I thought he was what I needed, he was shy, innocent, and never had been in a relationship with someone. 

It started off good because I wanted to try and enjoy being in a relationship. Like I said, I thought he was what I needed. We hungout a few times and I even stayed the night at his house once. 

I ended it because after a month, and even kinda before that, I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t feel an emotional connection or a spark. I would know after a month if there was some chemistry, right? Even still, I was double guessing everything the whole time I was with him. I feel like it took the break up well, but he hasn’t really talked to me since. And I still wanted to be his friend, but I guess it’s to much for him? I don’t know. 

Do you think it’s possible to be friends with your exes? Or, are you friends with any of your exes? If so tell me why or why not in a comment :). 

Thanks for reading! There will be a new update soon. 


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It’s been awhile.. 

It’s been awhile since I have wrote anything or DID anything as well. I wanted this blog for summer wildness and summer has passed. This is not me saying goodbye. This is me saying, a lot of things have happened since my last post and I will keep this blog :). 

I wanted to share my experiences and as of recently, I am really interested in a guy. This all means, that I will now blog more often.

I also need to write about some past experiences and I will, don’t worry.

That’s it for now!

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I did it again..with the ex.

So yes yes, my title says it all! I may have slept over at my exes house and we may have had sex three times. I mean, no big deal o.o..right?

We had actually been planning on hanging out, and he was going to give me a “romantic” massage, because I was messing around saying that he couldn’t be super romantic, but he did a great job honestly xD.

He told me to roll over and to take my shirt and bra off, and I was like “um why”, and he said “don’t you want that massage?”, so needless to say I did what he said and laid on my stomach and waited for him. He lit some candles, and got some oil and began to massage my back. It was really lovely honestly. The environment and massage was really good, like really.

Of course this great, amazing massage led into us having sex. I feel like, it would be kinda hard to describe it all or explain it. I guess that is because I have had sex with this man so many times, that it’s great every time and doesn’t feel super awkward to lead into it and get things done.

So we had sex a few times, and guess what? I am sore, again! I mean, I don’t understand! Is it so good that I have to be sore for a day? Or is he sometimes just so hardcore that I am sore xD? massage

Oh well. I may never know. It was a fun night though ^-~

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Call up the ex for a bootycall?

My day was good, like a really good day, but at the end of it I layed down for an hour and decided, hey I really need to do something. I went from wanting to getting a little tipsy to wanting to see my ex for some male company.  Let me remind you, this is the ex boyfriend who I dated for almost four years and of course, the man I lost my virginity to on a starry night.

I hadn’t spoken to him in a month, but the phone works both ways, right? I texted him, and of course he lost all his contacts. And right before I was going to go and not hint who I was, I gave it away by being “extremely” stubborn. (I’m apparently the most stubborn person he’s ever met). Now, I already knew that I would be able to come over, but how do I ask to come over without really asking. He mentioned that he made hamburgers and I was like, I want one, and he said to come get one, and I said I’m not there. These short texts ended with, you can come over, and we don’t have to have sex.

Of course we had sex! I mean, Jesus, haha. When I walked into his home, he had already picked a movie out. We never watched the movie because I kept messing with him, as in, poking him and trying to tickle him. I enjoy messing with people but I get a few laughs from it. Now, I love cuddling. So, I got on top of him and just layed there; which I always enjoyed laying on his body because it was like I fit there in a weird way.-but we aren’t together, so let’s not even get into that.

I believe we had sex three or four times. I was sore when I left for home in the morning and sore until the next day haha. I’m not sure if being sore from sex is GOOD or BAD, but hey, I enjoyed it.

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A month sex fling?

What started out as a mutual interest between two friends, turned quickly into me getting undressed in his bed. It sounds to good to be true? No no, the sex was great. I always enjoy when a man can keep going longer than 30 minutes, for some reason that just makes my mouth water. Before we even got down to the sexy time, he was urging to eat me out..and for me, I didn’t realize that he really enjoyed doing this. I was cautious at first, like, “are you sure”, and let me tell you, he was VERY persistent. He only did this for about ten minutes before he decided to be inside of me with himself. (fyi, the biggest I’ve ever had)

Unfortunately, our sex fling lasted a month, and sadly our sexy in-counters came to an end. We had sex a total of three times, and I wish I could get in a last fourth time with this guy. He was gorgeous and his body was different from what I was used too, which adds a thrill. Honestly, it sucks that he was a douchebag >.>.

All of this ended because I wouldn’t be in a relationship with this man. I wasn’t ready, and I am still not quite ready to be in a relationship with a man. I feel like I want to explore and have some fun with my life, with caution and safety of course.

Short little blog post, I know, but I feel like this may help you viewers to get an idea of some of the juicy stuff that will be put on here.

Till next time.

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